A John Mayer night

I can trace your footsteps now.  I can go back to where I left in the book. I could walk the lane I once traveled.  But you are gone, and I feel it in the air. It’s that feeling of the flame extinguishing in a dark room, when the soul of a man leaves it to planes beyond our contemplation.  Yes, I feel you’ve left. But I am no longer sinking. I am no longer the kid who chased that stranger with the Jay Gatsby smile, I am no longer the kid who’d burn his eyes out reading. I am no longer the kid who’d try to protect the flame from the gusts of winds life blew. What I am now is what you’ve made me. I’m that ash that falls from a burning cigarette. I am that long sigh before you notice that your coffee is almost finished. I am not the smell of rain, but the earthy soil that absorbs. I can no longer love what I loved before. I am what you made me. I am, exhausted.

Drowning

Drowning in a river,
Too numb to even shiver.
A noose around my neck,
A cry going unheard.
A bullet lost it's way,
Reaching out for you,
I'm drowning and i'm crying
So please come and save me,
To my home, please take me.
I'm drowning and I'm frowning,
You promised me love,
You left your soul in me.
Tears rush to break,
The prison that I made,
Please come back, please do love,
There's comfort in your arms,
Let me snatch the love I lost,
What had it even cost,
All my life and all my love,
Painully I will shove,
No love lost, No battle sounds,
No longer does my heart pound,
No love to be found,
So don't come around,
No places left to go,
No wings left to nurse,
You levied a curse.
Let me die alone,
Dimly our star shone.
And in that moment of time,
I committed the crime,
No love lost, no love found,
Let me disappear to not be found